Grace in Motherhood
Grace.
Sheesh, no brainer huh? We all need Grace during this season of parenthood. We are so easily consumed by all of the things that we think we should be doing that we do not take a moment to appreciate the things that we have already done. We do not need to seek perfection in motherhood. Repeat after me. We do not need to seek perfection in motherhood. I mean, what is perfect? That is different for us all. We wake up every single day and do the damn thing no matter what! So what if our kids had boxed mac and cheese for dinner today versus sweet potatoes and fresh veggies. FED IS BEST, right?
Every day won’t be a good day. Their will be days where you genuinely hide in the bathroom and cry, I have had so many of those, and that is totally okay! Motherhood has taught me so much, but one of the things it has taught me most is that forgiveness is normal and needed.
The moment we find out we are pregnant we are bombarded with so many decisions for not only the baby but for ourself. I am here to tell you that no matter what decision you make- some days you will kill it in motherhood and other days you will fall and neither are right or wrong. We frequently hear the saying that time flies and we should enjoy every moment. That is true, time does fly and I cannot believe that all of my babies are growing so quickly. But I am not sure that I can agree on having to enjoy every moment, because the truth is that every moment is not enjoyable. I like to think that my children are well behaved, but they do still have the occasional burst of behavior where I question where the heck they got that from. Some days we have great days where things go smoothly and as planned and some days it is melt down after meltdown that leads to an over stimulated, frustrated, unhappy mama that reaches a breaking point she cant calmly surpass. I will not lie and say that I have not yelled at my children or yelled out loud to release built up feelings. I mean if you have not kuddos to you and your strength to internally store the outrage. I cannot relate 100% of the time and that is me just keeping it raw and honest. Telling my kids to listen 20x in 5 minutes, or to sit down so they don’t fall out of the shopping cart, or hearing them tantrum at the check out line because I won’t buy them bubble gum is enjoyable. I cant’t say that hearing them fight over a toy all 3 of them own, having my toddler scream bloody murder at school drop-off or cleaning a blow out diaper is enjoyable. I will relish in our good moments together and I will remind myself that I am doing a great job, but I won’t pretend to enjoy the moments in this season that are clearly not enjoyable.
In those moments where I lose sight of my emotions is when I need grace the most and it is so important to be able to recognize that. Typically, a mom who is trying reallyyyyyyy hard to keep everyone else’s ends tied is usually the same mama that is hanging by a thread. I have learned to ask for forgiveness from my children when I have acted in a way that I am not proud of- like yelling at them for spilling the 3rd cup of milk that morning or fighting with each other. But I have also learned to forgive myself for these moments because I know that I am trying my darn best and sometimes we just can’t keep it all together.
I had to grow-up at a really young age and I am not sure if that is a contributing factor to my desire of being a perfectionist or pressure from society telling me what I am supposed to be doing. I mean, who are these people and why do I feel like what they are doing is what I should be doing too? It’s important to dissect this question and understand that what works for others doesn’t necessarily mean it will work for me too. That also doesn’t mean that I get to judge them for how they choose to do things and it also doesn’t mean that they are wrong and I am right. That may seem like a no brainer, but it truly is a revelation on the work we have to do within ourselves because it is so easy to consume ourselves with what everyone else is doing and feeling like we need to be doing that too.
At the end of the day, we are all overcoming struggles within ourselves. We are all learning as we go. We are all doing our best. When things are not going as planned walk away, take a deep breath and remind yourself that YOU ARE enough and no matter what anyone else thinks or says, you are a great mom and you are doing the damn thing. Learn how to forgive yourself for the hard days and give yourself grace when you know you are doing your very best. Grace is one of the most important things we need to hang onto in motherhood.
How are you giving yourself grace today or this week?
