Juggling the Stay-at-Home and Working Mom Life
We all know that being a mom is a full-time job, but what happens when you add a career into the mix? Balancing the roles of a stay-at-home mom and a working mom to small children is like walking a tightrope. It’s challenging, exhausting, and sometimes overwhelming, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. I have been a stay at home mama for almost 5 years, and recently began digging into a career field that I love and have been passionate about for a very long time. I am blessed with the flexibility to be able to create my own schedule in this field, but it does not mean that it is “easy” or that it does not cause immense stress to my daily load. I am still learning this new realm, but I have a little insight to share on how the “load” can be made a little easier when realistic expectations, making time for myself and managing stress are integrated. Stress has been a the hardest for me to manage and while it really puts a damper on my mental state, I have also found that I do my best work under stress. We’ll explore some key strategies for managing stress, finding time for self-care, and setting realistic expectations to make this delicate season a little smoother.
1. Managing Stress:
a. Prioritize Self-Care: As a mom, it’s easy to put your own needs last. However, self-care is crucial for managing stress and allowing time to focus on yourself and no one else. Set aside time each day for self-care activities, even if it’s just 15 minutes. I have began waking up 6am daily, hoping to get at least an hour to myself to read my devotional, drink my coffee and just prep for the day while the kids are still sleeping. This had made a large impact on how I tackle the start of the day and my mood going into the craziness of our new schedules/ routines. This will look different for everyone, but I urge you to find time in your day that is dedicated to just you.
b. Build a Support System: Reach out to friends and family for support. Whether it’s for a playdate, a listening ear, or help with childcare, a support network can be a lifesaver. We are 2 hours away from any family so we are blessed with friends and neighbors that have become family. I have a very small circle, but calling friends for coffee, a play date, a Target run or just to vent is a good way for me to take step away from the daily stress. I am also very grateful for our childcare - childcare is so hard to source so finding someone we trusted and that our kids loved was important.
c. Embrace Imperfection: Perfection is an unattainable goal. Accept that some days will be chaotic, and that’s okay. Give yourself permission to let go of unrealistic expectations and focus on what truly matters. This has been a big one for me to handle, but every day I get better at it. It does not have to be anything crazy, but something as simple as not worrying about tidying the living space at the end of the night has been a stepping stone…because who cares if the pillows are not fluffed and the blankets aren’t folded in the basket. But truly, in this world of social media, it is so easy to fall into this mindset of constantly being perfect and having super clean and tidy houses and kids that only play with wooden toys and wear organic clothing and no candy. I used to be that person, and I do still love a clean, tidy house, but I do not stress or worry about being perfect or doing what anyone else says I am supposed to be doing. Do what makes you happy- perfection is not realistic and if anyone seems like they have the perfect life, it is likely not real.
2. Making Time for Yourself:
a. Schedule “Me Time”: Just like you schedule work meetings and toddler activities, schedule time for yourself. Block out time on your calendar and treat it as non-negotiable. Like the hour I give myself every morning, but it can also be something as going to do your nails, scheduling brunch or dinner dates with friends, going on a walk alone, writing in your journal, going to grab a coffee, etc. Anything that brings you joy can count for this!
b. Delegate Tasks: Share household responsibilities with your partner or consider hiring help for tasks like cleaning or grocery shopping. This frees up time for you to recharge. Communication does not come easy for me and my husband, but after several mental breakdowns, signs of depression and many other things, I had to learn how to communicate and delegate tasks to him. I am definitely a “I like it a certain way, so I always do it myself” person, but I have had to let that go in order to free up space physically and mentally. I have also began budgeting for a house cleaner, which is a huge help for me. She comes once a month for a really good clean and I keep up weekly! Not only has this helped ease the load of the home upkeep, but it opens up time on my free time to spend with the kids or as a family. Now, I understand that not everyone has a partner or can budget for “help” , but I am just speaking from my current, personal experience. I was once the mama with a husband that was never home and we could not afford any help - it was HARD, but it is possible. Create routines that help the flow of the day and let go of things that do not have to happen at that moment. Lean on any support or resource you have to help!
c. Pursue Hobbies: Don’t forget the things that bring you joy. Whether it’s reading, painting, or dancing, make time for your hobbies, even if it’s in small increments. This is a great way to give your mind a break and escape into something that you love versus the load of day to day life. For me, it has been journaling, writing on the blog again, going on a walk, decorating spaces in my home, dance parties with the kids and playing with makeup.
3. Set Realistic Expectations:
a. Create a Flexible Routine: Toddlers are unpredictable, and your daily routine should reflect that. Have a basic structure in place but be prepared to adapt as needed. Many people love schedules, but that is not realistic for my family. Find what would work best for you!
b. Set Achievable Goals: Both at work and at home, set achievable goals. Avoid overloading your to-do list and focus on completing tasks that are most important. WOWZA! Still working on this one because I feel like i should be able to tackle the world in one day. I typically utilize Sundays to overview the week ahead and all the things that need done/ we have going on. We are certainly managing new routines right now with 2 kiddos in school, new childcare and my in office/ work from home days, but being able to plan ahead has been a big help. My free time looks very different and so I create a list of all the things that need completed that week and I tackle what I can, a little at a time, every day! The things on this brain dump are as simple as vacuuming to scheduling appointments or paying for school pictures! I typically reserve work hours for very early in the day while one of my kiddos is at school or at night when they are all asleep. This is not best case scenario, but it allows me to be present with the kids during the day and still allots time for work.
c. Communicate with Your Employer: If you’re a working mom, communicate openly with your employer about your family’s needs. Flexible work arrangements can make a big difference. I am extremely blessed with my “boss”. She truly is the best out there and I am aware that I have an advantage here that many do not have. I still think open communication with your employer is important! Even before I entered the beauty industry, I worked as HR personnel in the medical field and always kept open communication with my employer. They knew my son/ family came first and I always made arrangements in advance when I could, which allowed for them to respect when things came up last minute. Having that mutual respect was important and they knew i was a reliable, hard working employee and not just bluffing and using my children as a way to get out of work. Working from home is also difficult because it is hard to “shut off” or avoid interruptions or things that need done in the home, but again this is where having a good day to day balance helps you be able to succeed in both!
Balancing the roles of a stay-at-home mom and a working mom to small children is undoubtedly a challenge, but with the right strategies, it’s a challenge you can conquer. Managing stress, making time for yourself, and setting realistic expectations are key to finding harmony in this demanding yet fulfilling juggling act. Remember, you are doing an incredible job, and your love and dedication are shaping the lives of your little ones in remarkable ways. Go with the flow, do what is best for your family, release pressing stress and demands that are not priority and PLEASE make time for yourself. You deserve it and it is so easy to invest all of your time an energy into your home, your children, your spouse and your work…from a burnt out mama that is still learning, find time for things that bring you joy. Hustle culture sucks! You deserve to live a fulfilled life and your family deserves a fulfilled mama and wife!
