3 Things that Affect my Mental Health in Motherhood
Motherhood is a beautiful journey filled with love, joy, and unforgettable moments. However, it's also a role that can be emotionally and mentally taxing, often in ways that are not immediately visible. I really want to explore the profound impact of mental health on mothers and how it influences the day-to-day functioning of our families.
Just this year, I found out that I have severe anxiety and slight OCD. It was a hard pill for me to swallow, though it was not really a surprise. I have been drowning in motherhood for such a long time with very minimal support and I didn’t even realize it because as long as my kids were cared for, my home was clean and my husband’s needs were met, then nothing else mattered. My mental health was struggling, and I was so caught up on so many other things that I failed to realize and acknowledge that the way that I felt was not okay and it needed to change fast.
The Unseen Battles of Motherhood: Motherhood comes with a myriad of responsibilities and pressures, from ensuring we are meeting the needs of our children to the constant juggle of managing a household. Amidst these responsibilities, mothers often grapple with internal battles that affect their mental health:
1. Depression and Anxiety: Many new mothers experience postpartum depression and anxiety and the same goes for moms of multiples. It was not until I had my 2nd child that I learned what post partum depression was. I suffered with it so badly with my first and I didn’t even know it, then it came in a different wave for my 2nd and even my third child, but thankfully, I was at least aware of it. Depression and anxiety is something that genuinely sneaks up on you and it takes a lot of support and strength to come out of. If you are currently in this season, I urge you to lean on your support systems or try to communicate with your partner/ family/ friends. I promise you; you are not alone, and I do get it. Your feelings and emotions are valid, but we must find ways out of the ruck of it all. For me, lots of walks/ fresh air, activities with my kids and finding 10-15 minutes in my day to journal were extremely helpful!
2. Pressures of Perfection: Society often places unrealistic expectations on mothers to be the "perfect" parent. This pressure can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Surrounding yourself with people that value what you value and unfollowing accounts that make you feel less than is crucial. When I first began my content creating journey, I followed so many accounts and made so many friends that genuinely made me question my worth. It was honestly toxic and made me feel like I was always in competition or in a rush to do more. The pressure to be perfect based on what social media and society says is so unrealistic and unattainable. It is time that we stop comparing ourselves to others and do what is best for us and our family because it means something to US not because society and influencers say so. There is no perfect parent, we all do our best every single day for our families and that is something I hold close to me daily.
3. Lack of Self-Care: Often, we neglect self-care in favor of our family's well-being. This is one I have struggled with for a long time because whenever I do take time for myself, I cannot stop thinking about all the things that I could be doing for my family instead. We hear this all the time, but we CANNOT continue to pour from empty cups and it is time we are more intentional about this saying. We do it, and we do it well, but we need to stop. In order for me to be in a better headspace for my family, I need to make sure that I am also taking care of myself. The days where I did not value my health, my mental head space, my hygiene, my hobbies, relationships or the things that brought me joy are on their way out. As I mentioned earlier, fresh air and journaling, have helped a lot with my anxiety. Many times, I do not have the time to do these things alone, so taking my kids on a walk while I listen to a podcast or giving them a quiet activity so that I could journal, is enough for all of us to get a little break and it gives me a small mom win!
My current journey in motherhood encompasses both joy and hardship. Prioritizing my mental health and setting realistic boundaries really help me battle the unseen hardships that we all face in this season. Some days are better than others, but I have seen a huge shift in my life since I stopped trying to hide from my diagnosis and began addressing them with small changes in my day to day life. Be realistic with what you decide to implement and do not try to over do it. Remember, I am always here to chat and my goal is to bring awareness and talk about the real struggles I face every day in my journey as a mother. I know that I am not alone in this journey, and neither are you friend!
